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Netflix has a bad monster problem, open job offer to become a Witcher

Netflix has a job opening for a Witcher, they must have a terrible monster problem

By: Jak Connor from Jan 2, 2020 @ 0:34 CST

Firstly, this is no joke. Netflix is actually looking for what they are calling as an "Associate Witcher". This person must have a passion for monster-slaying, though.


It seems that Netflix is pulling off one of the best marketing stunts I've seen a TV show do. On their official website, they have posted a job listing for an "Associate Witcher" that will be required to protect their 158 million members. Not everyone will be able to apply for the job, as Netflix says that the perfect candidate will have to possess the ability to "lift several hundred pounds overhead repeatedly."

Netflix also says that this job offer will be "contract only" and that the benefits will be that "You'll be one of many witchers responsible for the tracking and removal of all manners of monsters, beasts, demons, rogues, and more." If you are wondering what kind of healthcare plan Witchers get, Netflix says that "Healthcare is available if you know the right spell." Netflix warns anyone who accepts this contract that any standing, pending, or ensuing Law of Surprise is now rendered void. In the entirety of this article, I have provided dot points for what the perfect candidate would be and what the job opportunity entails.

About the opportunity:

  • You'll be one of many witchers responsible for the tracking and removal of all manners of monsters, beasts, demons, rogues, and more.
  • Must have your own equipment! A horse, two swords, and a variety of potions are a must, while armors, chains, and other tools are recommended.
  • Multitasking will be your normal. You'll need to be able to carry out your current job while also providing mentorship for a young witcher because you will come to realize that it is your Destiny.
  • Great for nature lovers-you will spend a large amount of your working day out of doors.
  • We love horse people! If your best friend and trusted therapist growing up was a horse, you will fit right in.

The perfect candidate will:

  • Hold a four-year degree from an accredited Witcher school or have equivalent life experience
  • Be able to lift several hundred pounds overhead repeatedly
  • Not be afraid to work independently and spend long periods of time alone; water coolers are few and far between
  • Have an innate understanding of the lesser evil and the greater good
  • Demonstrate excellent verbal communication skills, knowing how to negotiate with a wide variety of clients; written communication skills are a plus
  • Be comfortable with a fast pace in all types of job environments, from city to swamp to forest to mountain
  • Maintain flexibility-enough to duck a swinging tentacle or tangle with a ghoul-while being rigid enough to ignore the shouts of a crowd or the magical traps of a wizard
  • Agree that the worst monsters are the ones we create
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